Donnie loves a parade

It is no secret that old fat ass really loves military parades. Rumor has it that he used to drool when watching the May Day parades from Moscow. He particularly likes the reviewing stand and the salutes although he doesn't understand why they don't also clap as they pass by. He has lately been disturbed by the pictures of the military parades staged in North Korea honoring his nemesis. Then he found that even the French have parades on Bastille day. That was too much. So, our fearless leader has demanded his staff and the Department of Defense create plans for a stupendous, really remarkable, big beautiful parade. His parade working group was ordered to search history for the biggest and best military parades.

Brought to his attention was the fact that when Rome was really Rome there would be parades honoring military victories with marching centurions, even elephants and often captured enemies. He has been told about the Caesars and has become somewhat envious of Caligula who really knew how to have a good time. He has been told that elephants are  impractical but there still are military horses that could be part of the parade. He has told his desire to have captured enemy combatants in shackles and also perhaps a few illegal aliens similarly constrained. The troops will be ordered as they pass by the truly magnificent reviewing stand to give a snappy salute followed by at least one minute of clapping.

But Donnie wants more. Provoked by his newfound fascination with Caligula and the other Caesars , Donnie wants a giant toga party at the end of the day at mal de mer. This will be a $200,000 per robe toga party/fundraiser with half the proceeds going to the mal de mer resort to pay for the expensive meal which will include chocolate cake–two slices for old fat ass–with the rest going to the newly established Trump" Presidency for Life" campaign. As Donnie has stated," in one year I have achieved greater military victories than any president in history and this must be recognized." It was suggested that 4 July would be a good day for such a parade but Donnie said no that holiday already exists and we need a new annual holiday with a snappy name such as" Trump Victorious Again." The guest list for the toga party will remain fluid because who knows who might still be around. The triumvirate now known as KellyannKellySanders stated that this celebration firmly reinforces the Trump Doctrine that what's good for Donnie is good for America.