The State of the Union address

There seems to be some question if and when Little Donnie Will give the State of the Union address and where. Luckily, I have obtained an advance copy which I will share with you .

"My fellow Americans and particularly you low information voters who are susceptible to bullshit. Stated simply, the the state of the union is that it is partially shut down and generally not functioning. This is because Congress, or at least the House of Representatives, have the temerity not too yield to one of my tantrums. Because I cannot do much to that mean woman in charge of the House, I am going to punish the entire country but particularly federal workers as most of them are Democrats anyway. I am obtaining protection from the Senate and particularly Mitch McConnell who will not allow any of the legislation passed by the house to come to a vote in the Senate where it might be passed thus causing me the embarrassment of having to veto it. But important parts of the government are certainly working just fine. I have all kinds of lackeys at the White House and have no problem getting late hour cheeseburgers. Moreover, I still have a helicopter and a great big jet plane, although they will not let me replace the United States of America decal with one that says Trump. Moreover,Melania still has the use of Government airplanes in her ever more frequent trips to get away from me. The economy is doing great. I know this because I am getting all kinds of revenue from my hotels and resorts, particularly by foreign leaders who wish to suck up to me. Some people are complaining about something called an emolument but I don't even know what that is. I have of course signed Paul Ryan's tax plan. I don't know exactly what was in it but I do know that it certainly lowered my taxes as well as those of my rich friends. What could be wrong with that? Some of these people with fancy economic degrees are saying that that tax cuts will not improve growth over any long period, talking about something called marginal consumption rates. They are also complaining about large deficits. Well, so what? I'm getting mine now. Our foreign-policy remains right on track. I have been able to demonstrate to our long-term allies that they cannot have trust or confidence in the United States. It's about time these freeloaders did something on their own. Meanwhile, I have close personal friendships with various totalitarian rulers of countries like North Korea, Russia, Saudi Arabia and now Turkey. I had a great conversation with Erdogen who said he would take care of Isis, which I have personally defeated anyway. General Mattis quit but he was kind of a pain in the butt anyway. More and more I am surrounded by advisers who don't pretend to have knowledge or information but instead tell me I am right. What a great bunch of guys. In conclusion, all you have to know about the state of the union is that I am in charge. If that doesn't cause you to feel comfort and security I can't imagine what would. Now, I am going back to the White House for a well-deserved snack of KFC, Cheeseburgers and a large pizza. Good night.