Yellowstone, inc.

Newly appointed secretary of the interior Ryan Zinke is a former Navy SEAL, which branch is iadept at search and destroy missions. It appears his first assignment, given by either Donald Trump or Steve Bannon , who ever is now in charge of dysfunction Junction, AKA the White House, is to search out and destroy our public lands. His initial assignment is in regard to any national monuments created by President Obama. That task is underway. Washington insiders say that Phase 2 Will address other national monuments and national Parks. Apparently a prime target is Yellowstone National Park, created by a radical environmentalist named Theodore Roosevelt. It has come to the attention of the inner circle at dysfunction Junction that Yellowstone is far too  large and contains an incredible potential for energy development. First there is the great possibility of harnessing the geothermal potential. An anonymous insider stated it is absurd to pass up this opportunity for economic development just so  people with time on their hands can stand around and enjoy scenic beauty and wonders. These people should be mining coal someplace anyway. Additionally, it has been noted that Yellowstone Falls has a great potential for Hydro electric development. A newly formed company, Trump Energy, has been formed to exploit these opportunities.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we witnessed clips from a truly bizarre and grotesque ceremony. Donnie summoned his disciples to a sort of secular Eucharist. Each in turn was apparently choreographed to sing Donnie's praises and the great joy they felt at being allowed to be so near his magnificent presence. Apparently there was a plaque at the door to the room saying "Abandon all self-respect ye who enter herein". The ceremony was reminiscent of something that would occur in North Korea or perhaps when the lollipop Guild first met Dorothy in Oz. Donnie solemnly accepted these praises without even an" Aw shucks fellas". Towards the end of the meeting, it is reported that Donnie said" Truly I say to you, one of you here will betrayed me by leaking." This was met with dismay and protestations by his disciples but for one shifty eyed disciple whose identity has not been disclosed.

Donnie left the meeting, stating that no matter how much the forces of evil, AKA the media or anybody else who disagrees with him may attack him and beat him down, he will rise again.