Ivanka to the rescue

In an attempt to fill his likability gap, Trumpf called up his daughter Ivanka from the reserves to active duty. She will be very very great, fantastic said Trump stating that unlike him and those Steve's and the rest of the White House's our gang comedy people actually like her. An unfounded rumor from an undisclosed source passed along from a guy who knows a guy says that her initial portfolio will include being in charge of the new White House boutique. The same source quoted Trump as saying" The boutique will be incredible, World-class one of the really remarkable fantastic shopping experiences in the world, far better than Rodeo Drive or the Champs Elysees." The boutique will feature Ivanka's personal lines, as soon as the Nordstrom price tags can be cut off. The boutique will also offer round trip package vacations to an incredible, World-class resort named Mara Lago in Florida. Included in the VIP package will be dinner Saturday night at the Captains table with you know who. Trump said the White House is working on whether round trip flights on Air Force One could be included in the package. Trumpf has asked his White House counsel to prepare an opinion letter stating that it can be done if recipients are made special White House consultants on a temporary basis. They can't be any more useless than the ones we've already got, said an anonymous source

Purchases will be made at the White House boutique using" Trump dollars ". There will be a currency exchange at the boutique. The exchange rate has not been set but Trumps treasury secretary Steve the munchkin stated that a Trump dollar would clearly have a higher exchange rate than the euro or the pound because Europe and the UK are bankrupt. Members of Congress, other than Democrats and the freedom Caucus, will be invited to a special pre-opening opportunity to view the boutique and its merchandise. They will be served trump wine and trump steaks, which by now are really well aged. Trump stated that it will be the largest attendance ever at a White House boutique opening, a really fantastic, remarkable event.